I’m ringing in the new year as a mom! It’s been four months since my little boy Atticus was born and I am still a bit discombobulated when it comes to going back to normal. Truth is, there is no normal. I feel like I’ve been hard on myself these past few months for not being the way I used to be. I was a little more organized and less tense. Yet, as much as I’d like for things to be back to normal it’s just not going to happen. I have a new normal to adjust to.
I have to clean the house in small doses because right when I’m in the middle of sweeping or washing dishes I hear a faint whimper coming from my roon calling for me, stopping me in my tracks. If I get the chance to shower I’m paranoid thinking I hear him crying. When I come out chances are he’s still asleep because I literally showered for five minutes. Mom duties can’t be put on hold when you’re sick and that’s when having good support from your spouse, friends and family come in handy. I give props to single parents out there.
My clothes don’t fit like they used to and if I get lucky enough to find something that fits there’s always a nagging in the back of my mind, saying it’s not motherhood material. I haven’t been working since I was nine months pregnant so being low on cash from my end is so irritating. I love making my own money and saving. Having to ask for money from my spouse makes me feel guilty. He works hard for it and I hate having to ask for something he earned.
Getting used to this new life has it’s perks though. I LOVE hearing Atticus laugh. I never imagined how much joy his smile would bring me. I get excited to see him grow! I enjoy speaking to him as he listens tentatively and then responds in gibberish. This whole thing has been overwhelming but I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.
Atticus Atlas 
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